Competition vs. Collaboration
A deep dive into the two paradigms that either make us cope or thrive, and how to navigate through them to experience more effortless success.
One of the greatest concepts I've ever learned that has made a big difference in life is the understanding of competition versus collaboration.
Sounds like surface-level corny self-help advice, right? It's not. It's ingrained deep into our subconscious mind, and our biological coding. It's a constant pattern repeating itself throughout history. If you research it deeply, you'll see this dynamic emerging not only from human beings, but from every living species.
It turns out that there are different ways to coexist, so to speak, within a certain group (and that group within other groups), depending on the current situation we find ourselves in. Will & Ariel Durant sum this up perfectly in their book “The Lessons of History” (p. 19):
”The first biological lesson of history is that life is competition. Competition is not only the life of trade, it is the trade of life — peaceful when food abounds, violent when the mouths outrun the food.”
If, for example, we are desperate, our primary needs are not met, and we find ourselves low on resources, we will try to take away what we need from another party, even if we need to be violent, (this is perhaps how the concept of private property and its defense started.)
Let's call this the paradigm of competition. It's a survival-based instinct where we're constantly looking out for our best interests, sacrificing the wellbeing of others, if necessary, to get what we want. It's a very "low" paradigm if you choose to see it from a energetic/spiritual standpoint, and it can be taken to an extreme, such as crime, war, rebellion, anarchy, loitering, robbery, sabotage, and more. (Note: it can also be done by due process of law - you'll see it in the news every day through the manipulation of information, in politics, business, relationships, and everywhere.)
If you are able to go deep and do some self-analysis on this, you'll see that competition, in a sense, can be tied to negative emotions such as winning at the expense of another's loss, pride, envy, and anger.
Now don’t get me wrong on this one. I don't think competition is at all bad. It's actually really good on certain endeavors that reward it, such as sports (more on that topic later). It's also VERY efficient for different paradigms. If one feels apathetic and lazy all the time and the only way to motivate oneself is through competition, then by all means do that, while attempting to bring awareness within yourself and see how you can move to a higher paradigm.
What's the "higher paradigm"?
It's the frame of collaboration. That's a more powerful stance. It shows a position of power, of having all your needs met *before* any deal, agreement, or end-goal is fulfilled. You can easily walk away from the situation because you have other opportunities.
Now you must remember, collaboration is not all fun and games - it doesn't mean that every problem will be solved and every negativity erased once you adopt that stance. Quoting The Lessons of History again:
"Co-operation is real, and increases with social development, but mostly because it is a tool and form of competition; we co-operate in our group—our family, community, club, church, party, “race,” or nation—in order to strengthen our group in its competition with other groups.” (p. 19)
Collaboration still is something based on primitive instincts, because that's how we're primed. We always act on our survival's best interest. We're selfish by nature, and we have dark shit, like envy, greed, avarice, and a thirst for power. An interesting quote about war and power from The Lessons of History (p. 19):
"War is a nation’s way of eating. It promotes co-operation because it is the ultimate form of competition. Until our states become members of a large and effectively protective group they will continue to act like individuals and families in the hunting stage.” (p. 19)
Collaboration is the ultimate form of competition.
Seen in modern, peaceful times, once we get to a "safe zone" (in the quote above: a "large and effectively protective group": it could mean a loving relationship, an effective business group, a mutually supportive community), then we can relax. We no longer have to act like ravaging, competing cavemen, but as civilized, collaborative beings. We can show our angelic qualities and let our guard down.
I’ll show you how this all clicks at the end, after we’ve explored another perspectives.
Now let's look at it from a different standpoint: game theory.
Sometimes, we like to see the world as if there was a fixed set of rules. It makes things easier for us. We like the illusion of “predicting” things, which makes us feel safe. The mind loves certainty and by thinking we have it all under control, we can relax and make decisions.
Under this perspective, we see life as our favorite sport. Let's set baseball as an example. There's a fixed set of rules for every game played: nine players per team, four bases, someone bats, and if he swings three times and misses all of them, he's out, among other regulations. (I'm not a huge baseball fan and don't know much about it, but I hope this quick example shows you the point.)
In that case, probability is calculated. There's a limited amount of outcomes one can achieve: either you do something "right" (like hitting the baseball and running to the next base) or "wrong" (like missing and getting outed). This applies to every single scenario in baseball, it is a finite game.
At the end, a particular outcome is attained: either we won, or we didn't; we played well (based on how many points/catches/strikes were made), or we didn't; and so on.
This sounds simple and straightforward. We think we could easily apply that to business and life, right?
No. The blueprints that govern endeavors such as business, romantic relationships, human interactions, negotiation, and almost all areas of life are unpredictable, they don't have a fixed set of "commandments" that scenarios like a baseball game offer.
There's a lot of hidden stuff that makes it impossible to calculate an outcome (contrary to sports), and there's no two equal scenarios in the game of business, love, or life. They’re an infinite game.
You could have a language advantage and be bilingual, or have grown in a certain part of town, or had a life experience that made you change how you relate to others forever, or beliefs, memories, traumas, or an infinite amount of different probabilities that basically differentiate you from any other human on earth.
Knowing this, competition doesn't make any sense.
Competition against others, that is.
Because getting into a paradigm of competition in these areas is like putting a baseball team vs a basketball team against each other and asking who wins, or who's the best.
That's the truth of the game of life. It doesn't make any sense to compete against another knowing that both (or more) parties have a completely different background.
The only thing that would make sense is to compete against yourself. To be better than yesterday, even if it means by 1%. To constantly strive towards mastery through repetition and iteration. In business, to establish preeminence, and remove the line between “prospect” and “customer”, or to cultivate a group of 1000 true fans that you can show up for years for. In relationships, to be more loving, understanding, and intimate towards your partner every day, while getting to know yourself and your emotional patterns better, or spend more time with friends, or be a tactical listener. In life, to embrace giving and receiving, to cultivate Presence, and to let go of old patterns that no longer serve.
One last thing,
One of the most amazing quotes that has transformed the way I see the world is "Don't force it, become attractive to it"
The basic premise of the video above is that there's two ways of doing things: you can apply force, "make things happen", "grind", hustle...
...Or you can come from power, and put yourself in a position where your identity naturally attracts it.
This is not woo-woo stuff. It may be unconventional and unheard of for many people. Others may have a hard time accepting it, but different energetic levels of actions and identity breed different types of results. The great Dr. David Hawkins explained this a while back through an amazing example of Sam Walton's era Walmart.
When the book “Power vs. Force” was written, Walmart was the biggest retail store in the United States. Mr. Hawkins describes how all competitors would try to copy their marketing strategy to hopefully get the same results, but they never came even close, even if they were doing the exact same thing!
He then provides an explanation:
"In the aisles of many of today’s giant stores, there seem to be no employees whatsoever; the gross indifference to customer goodwill is shocking. Walmart’s employees, in contrast, are trained to be accommodating, warm, and energetic, to reflect a humane energy field in their workplace. Their jobs have meaning and value because they are aligned with Service, a commitment to the support of life and human value. All Walmart stores feature an area where you can rest your feet and decide about purchases. Such an allocation of space to meet simple human needs would not pass the scrutiny of purely scientific management calculations in terms of gross sales per square footage. But such “efficiency” expertise has discarded, along with human compassion, the market allegiance of millions of customers. Computers do not feel; more attention would be paid to feelings if it were realized that feelings determine purchases.”
I love Dr. Hawkins, I really do. My first self-development book ever was "Letting Go" when I was 15 and it opened a path that I'll probably walk through for the rest of my days. I also genuinely enjoy his writings because he's masterful at combining spirituality and Higher Sources with tangible, "proven" scientific evidence. Power vs. Force is a true masterpiece in this sense.
When we're oblivious to "Higher truths", and ignore them, we believe that A leads to B, and B leads to C (A > B > C). Thinking in a linear way rarely breeds the results we want if we don't consider a deeper, systematic perspective. If it was that easy, everyone could simply follow a path someone has walked in the past, and "make it happen", become successful, get rich, marry a soulmate, right? Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.
By first aligning to Higher Attractor Patterns, such as service, community, wellbeing of others, care, preeminence, and then taking action and making decisions from that point, true success comes in.
Dr. Hawkins calls these higher patterns the ABC (not to be confused with A > B > C of linear thinking described above). It's arguably the only way to achieve lasting success in the long run.
By aligning yourself to Higher Attractor Patterns such as love, preeminence, service, joy (and very important - having a system to deal with the the “low vibrational” emotions when they hit, because they eventually will), you start to move further away from a “me against them” vision of the world, and it becomes more collaborative, win-win, and effortless.
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